Saturday, May 26, 2007

Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before.......

I'm blogging blind tonight. No plan, no ideas.........just what comes out of my head with only the safety net of a little self editing to go on. Deep breath........

You know that thing where you get someone at work who simply will not stop talking to you? Oh, you can ignore the bastards, you can do 'disinterested' until yr blue in the face, but they have no concept................If they were amusing or interesting or knew when to stop with their tedious prattle (something everyone is guilty of by the way) then it wouldn't be a problem. I know a glazed expression when I see it, I'm sure most of you do too, and in such situations I reign in my nerdish tendencies for the day and change the subject. I've seen my father bore people to the verge of suicide, it becomes a very self conscious thing...................I have that same trait and I always know when I'm about to crush someone under an avalanche of self righteous ranting. Why doesn't the woman next to me at work understand this?

No, I've only heard that one three times before..............Yes, you've told me you were a precocious child..............If you don't stop gibbering to me about how stupid the human race is just because someone failed to fill in a form correctly..............Sweet lord Above Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fucking Hell! I hate my job, but I'd rather get on with that than listen to this woman..............If only she'd let me.

Anyway, my 'fake interested' face doesn't seem to be working too well. She's either ignoring it with a view to making my life completely hellish or she genuinely doesn't see the apathy in my eyes........

Thank fuck for lunchtime at the Bon Accord and the company of Lee, Rombo, Lyle and TBM. Lyle was in awesome form. The man is a genius of unconscious comedy. He just says the first thing that comes into his head, and for that I'm thankfull. It's usually funny as fuck. If it's not, it's damn strange which is a decent deal all round...........
Great steak pie too.................

Yoochoob Double Bill






Goodnight!

4 comments:

Lorna said...

I think I'm often guilty of prattling in the way you describe. It's as if, subconsciously, I view the look of polite apathy on the other person's face as a challenge... ;)

iLL Man said...

Nah Lorna, we all bang on a bit, but this one is a real pain in the nuts. She thinks she's the centre of the fucking universe. Wouldn't mind so much, but she really does talk a load of drivel. About 10% amusing or interesting and 90% unnecessary guff.

Fat Sparrow said...

My brother is a massive cunt, and talks incessantly. If you turn to go, he will follow you, still talking, until you get in the car, or the bathroom, and slam the door in his face, and even then he's still talking.

You have some hope for your situation, because she's a woman. Lucky you. Next time she's going on, start rooting around in your ass region. Just slowly, at first, but then give a few good digs, and then bring your fingers up to your nose and give a couple of sniffs. Interrupt her by holding out your fingers, and ask her "Does that smell funny to you?"

If this doesn't get her to shut up and move on, you know that you are well fucked and your only recourse is suicide, or maybe a new job.

Rob7534 said...

I think I stole your blog title by accident!